- Envision your ceremony. Discussing with your partner what you want your wedding to look and feel like is key. This decision will help guide most of your other choices. Choosing the invitations, location, clothes, music, flowers, favors and just about everything else will be much easier once you agree on the vision.
- Guest List. Deciding on a guest list must be done early because so many other things depend on the number of guests attending your wedding. Ceremony and reception locations, invitations, favors, and catering all depend on the number of guests. The Guest list is another big factor in determining your budget.
- The budget. My one word of advice here is: Decide what is really important to you. My wife and I agreed early on that wedding photos and location were our highest priority. We sought out a really amazing photographer and a great location, which took up a big portion of our budget. Flowers were not important to us so we skimped on those to make up for the cost of the location and photographer. When deciding upon a budget make sure that you set your priorities and plan accordingly.
- Set a Date. Choose the time of year that you’d like to have your wedding. Make sure you consider the climate as well as any local events that may interfere with or compete with your wedding. For example, living in New Orleans, we decided a summer wedding was out. 100 degree weather with 100% humidity would have wreaked havoc on our hair and makeup
 We also decided against holding our classic Parisian/New Orleans style commitment ceremony during Mardi Gras (too many logistical problems and out of town guests would have to pay higher airfare and hotel rooms costs).
- Ceremony and Reception site. Since this is the first vendor you will choose, let me stress that you make sure that you are comfortable with them. You do not have to settle for vendors that are uneasy servicing a gay wedding. Yes, we ran into one homophobe in planning our wedding but every other vendor that we approached was professional and excited to help us. Make up your mind from the beginning to surround yourself with vendors that support gay marriage. With that said, here are some things to consider when choosing a ceremony and reception location. Do they have a minimum and maximum guest capacity? Does the location reflect the overall feel and look you are trying to achieve? Are there any extra services available (catering, flowers etc)? Do they have an available date/time that matches your desired date? What are the extra/hidden fees (ex. Extra fees for evenings and weekend, rehearsal fees etc)? TIP #1: Once you decide on a location secure it quickly. Most locations are booked 6 months to a year in advance. TIP #2: Get it in writing! Even if you have a great rapport with the vendor, you should not pay a deposit until you have a detailed breakdown of the services to be provided, fees for those services and the date and time of the event.
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